As I am typing this, our beautiful daughter is sleeping in her crib just a few feet away. Holding her in my arms as she nestled down for rest, I began to reflect on where we were a little over a year ago.
Spring of 2009 held very different thoughts and emotions than those we are experiencing now. Spring, the time of new life and renewal, had been disappointing. After the initial excitement of deciding to adopt from Ethiopia, completing our paperwork, and beginning our wait, our agency informed us that our wait time would be double what we initially thought. Our Spring looked bleak as we settled in for more waiting. While I am not a sentimental person when it comes to holidays, Mother’s Day hit me with a vengeance. I was shocked by the intensity of my emotions that day as I felt so helpless and sad. We were later to find out that our daughter was born only days before that Mother’s Day. That Spring had brought an amazing life into this world; so far away in Gondar, Ethiopia, our daughter had been born! God’s timing, as always, had been perfect.
On Saturday, Setpember 18, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm, Tapestry is throwing a party to celebrate five years of ministry. This evening will include dinner and great stories, videos and more for the adults, as we look back at what God has done among our community of families and dream about what lies ahead. We also have lots of fun and games planned for all the kids.
Tapestry only “turns 5” once, so you will not want to miss this celebration. The entire evening will be free of charge and childcare and children’s activities will be available for ages 0 to 12 with advanced registration (at least 48 hours before the event).
More details to come soon, but go ahead and mark your calendars now.
As my daughter, Sveta, and I sat looking at the precious few photographs we have from her early childhood, we both enjoyed studying the familiar features of her sky-blue eyes and smooth olive skin. We laughed about the many changes in hair color, length and style. And as she remembered the story behind one of her kindergarten portraits, I listened carefully to every detail she could recall.
One photograph, however, captured my heart and held my attention. She was too young when it was taken to remember the slate grey and turquoise sweater she wore, or the occasion of the photo; however, she had many memories of the special person holding her close, their faces almost touching. Her birthmother looked beautiful in her jewel toned sweater and neatly applied lipstick. Her eyes and skin tone looked so much like those of the girl now sitting beside me on the bed. How old was she? How much time had passed? Where is she now? Does she think about …?
Tapestry will host its annual family summer fun event at Bedford Splash Water Park on Sunday evening, July 18, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm. This annual event is tons of fun for all families and is a great chance to swim and play at Bedford Splash.
The water park has pools, water slides and attractions for all ages, and best of all we will have the entire park all to ourselves. Everyone is invited and you don’t need to register — just show up. Best of all, the event is completely free. Limited concessions (i.e., snacks only) will be available for purchase, but families are welcome to bring their own snacks or a picnic dinner. Life guards will be on duty.
Carla Barnhill wrote a very informative article in the July 2010 issue Christianity Today that captures well how God is working through local churches across the country to serve, educate and support adoptive and foster families. In fact, she points to what is happening at Tapestry at Irving Bible Church as a good example of how churches can become involved in many different ways to serve the needs of children and families touched by adoption and foster care.
“From megachurches like Saddleback Church in Orange County, California, and Christ Community Church in Franklin, Tennessee, to small congregations like First Baptist Church in Cambridge, Minnesota, U.S. churches are launching orphan care ministries, most of them lay-led. One such ministry, Tapestry, began in 2000 when a few adoption-hopeful couples at Irving Bible Church in North Texas began meeting. Launched by Michael and Amy Monroe, Tapestry has become a cultural juggernaut at Irving Bible and in the wider community. It helps adoptive families wade through the endless amounts of paperwork, home visits, and assessments, and, after a child arrives, provides education and connects families to support groups.” — Churches Adopt Adoption, Christianity Today (July 2010)
Read the entire article and join with us in celebrating what God is already doing in so many local churches. Also, if your church is interested in starting an adoption, foster care or global orphan care ministry, check out some of the resources we have on the Tapestry website or send us an email at tapestry@irvingbible.org. We would love to help you and your church get involved in whatever way God is leading.
Missy Leventhal recently wrote a very honest and insightful post on the Hope for Orphans blog. She talked openly about the importance of realistic expectations in the adoption journey, and how she had to adjust the unrealistic expectations she had created while waiting for the adoption of their daughter Abigail from China.
“For me the depths of my expectations did not help me with our transition, and it took me months to figure out that the disconnection I was feeling with her was due, in a large part, to my unmet and unrealistic expectations. As I’ve come to understand my own heart more through much prayer, educated myself with some great books like The Connected Child, and surrounded myself with other godly adoptive families through our church’s adoption ministry (Watermark Tapestry), I’ve learned that I must evaluate and adjust my expectations so that they are more realistic. I must love my daughter for who she is and for how our God has created her, rather than try to make her into something she’s not. This is not a new concept to me, but it is one that took me being very intentional to really change my heart.”– Missy Leventhal
Missy focuses on an issue that all adoptive and foster parents must focus on — both before their child arrives and after — if we want to truly love our children in ways that build strong and lasting connections to help them become all that God intends for them to be.
Read Missy’s entire post here, and you can also read an article on the same subject by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe entitled Adoption from the Inside Out. It’s never too late for us as adoptive and foster parents (and parents-to-be) to start this all-important process of examining our motivations and expectations, and allowing God’s truth and grace to bring them more in line with what He has called us to.
Tapestry’s small groups have connected, encouraged and informed literally hundreds of families over the past five years. If you are not familiar with the various Tapestry small groups that meet each month throughout the year, be sure to check out all of the upcoming small group meetings and other Tapestry events.
This weekend we have three small groups that will be meeting.
On Saturday, June 26, both of the Tapestry waiting families groups will meet at 7:30 pm — one in Carrollton and one in Dallas. These groups are for anyone in the waiting phase of the adoption or foster care journey, including those who are still considering whether adoption or foster care is right for them. You don’t need to RSVP — just show up for dessert, coffee and great conversation with others who understand the journey are on. You will be glad you did. You can contact Krsitin Violi at ktvioli@gmail.com for more information or directions.
On Sunday, June 27, the Tapestry Older Child Adoption Parent Group will meet from 5:00 to 6:30 pm, in the Training Center at Irving Bible Church. This small group is for parents who have adopted (or are considering adopting) an older child (preschool age and older). Children ages birth through 5th grade can participate in the Sunday evening children’s programs during this time. You can contact Amy Monroe at tapestry@irvingbible.org for more information.
I was sitting at my computer on Saturday morning when I heard Grant, my eight year-old, yelling at his little brother – something about “why did you take that . . .” As I rounded the corner to see what was going on, Grant ran into me. I knelt down and asked what was wrong. “He took it from me,” he said – and then let out a short, loud scream of frustration. “I’m just so mad at him. Why did you even have to adopt him anyway?”
Wow! Where did that come from? Gathering my thoughts, I decided to seize the opportunity and have a little adoption chat. After all, that’s a pretty important question. I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to answer.
“That’s a good question,” I said.
“I mean you already had two boys,” he said, referring to himself and his older brother, both of whom we adopted as infants, “so why did you have to adopt him too?”
For well over a year now we have dreamed of starting a small group designed for parents who have adopted or are considering adopting an older child (preschool and older). However, the challenge has been that we simply have not had the right families, in terms of experience and perspective, to lead it — until now.
This coming Sunday, May 23, from 5:00 to 6:30 pm, in the Training Center (across from The Tubes) at Irving Bible Church, Tapestry will be starting a new small group for parents who have adopted or are considering adopting an older child (preschool age and older). The group will be led by the Macdonalds and the Hames — both very experienced families who have a real heart to help other families travel the journey of older child adoption well.
This group will meet on the fourth Sunday night of each month — so go ahead and mark your calendars now. Children ages birth through 5th grade can participate in the Sunday evening children’s programs during this time.
As I am typing this, our beautiful daughter is sleeping in her crib just a few feet away. Holding her in my arms as she nestled down for rest, I began to reflect on where we were a little over a year ago. 
