Archive for the Stories Category
Posted on July 27, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
As I am typing this, our beautiful daughter is sleeping in her crib just a few feet away. Holding her in my arms as she nestled down for rest, I began to reflect on where we were a little over a year ago.
Spring of 2009 held very different thoughts and emotions than those we are experiencing now. Spring, the time of new life and renewal, had been disappointing. After the initial excitement of deciding to adopt from Ethiopia, completing our paperwork, and beginning our wait, our agency informed us that our wait time would be double what we initially thought. Our Spring looked bleak as we settled in for more waiting. While I am not a sentimental person when it comes to holidays, Mother’s Day hit me with a vengeance. I was shocked by the intensity of my emotions that day as I felt so helpless and sad. We were later to find out that our daughter was born only days before that Mother’s Day. That Spring had brought an amazing life into this world; so far away in Gondar, Ethiopia, our daughter had been born! God’s timing, as always, had been perfect.
Read the entire story by Carmen Scroggin from the Summer 2010 issue of the Tapestry Newsletter.
Posted on July 19, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
As my daughter, Sveta, and I sat looking at the precious few photographs we have from her early childhood, we both enjoyed studying the familiar features of her sky-blue eyes and smooth olive skin. We laughed about the many changes in hair color, length and style. And as she remembered the story behind one of her kindergarten portraits, I listened carefully to every detail she could recall.
One photograph, however, captured my heart and held my attention. She was too young when it was taken to remember the slate grey and turquoise sweater she wore, or the occasion of the photo; however, she had many memories of the special person holding her close, their faces almost touching. Her birthmother looked beautiful in her jewel toned sweater and neatly applied lipstick. Her eyes and skin tone looked so much like those of the girl now sitting beside me on the bed. How old was she? How much time had passed? Where is she now? Does she think about …?
Read the entire story by Cheryl Macdonald from the Summer 2010 issue of the Tapestry Newsletter.
Posted on July 2, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
Missy Leventhal recently wrote a very honest and insightful post on the Hope for Orphans blog. She talked openly about the importance of realistic expectations in the adoption journey, and how she had to adjust the unrealistic expectations she had created while waiting for the adoption of their daughter Abigail from China.
“For me the depths of my expectations did not help me with our transition, and it took me months to figure out that the disconnection I was feeling with her was due, in a large part, to my unmet and unrealistic expectations. As I’ve come to understand my own heart more through much prayer, educated myself with some great books like The Connected Child, and surrounded myself with other godly adoptive families through our church’s adoption ministry (Watermark Tapestry), I’ve learned that I must evaluate and adjust my expectations so that they are more realistic. I must love my daughter for who she is and for how our God has created her, rather than try to make her into something she’s not. This is not a new concept to me, but it is one that took me being very intentional to really change my heart.”– Missy Leventhal
Missy focuses on an issue that all adoptive and foster parents must focus on — both before their child arrives and after — if we want to truly love our children in ways that build strong and lasting connections to help them become all that God intends for them to be.
Read Missy’s entire post here, and you can also read an article on the same subject by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe entitled Adoption from the Inside Out. It’s never too late for us as adoptive and foster parents (and parents-to-be) to start this all-important process of examining our motivations and expectations, and allowing God’s truth and grace to bring them more in line with what He has called us to.
Posted on May 26, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
I was sitting at my computer on Saturday morning when I heard Grant, my eight year-old, yelling at his little brother – something about “why did you take that . . .” As I rounded the corner to see what was going on, Grant ran into me. I knelt down and asked what was wrong. “He took it from me,” he said – and then let out a short, loud scream of frustration. “I’m just so mad at him. Why did you even have to adopt him anyway?”
Wow! Where did that come from? Gathering my thoughts, I decided to seize the opportunity and have a little adoption chat. After all, that’s a pretty important question. I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to answer.
“That’s a good question,” I said.
“I mean you already had two boys,” he said, referring to himself and his older brother, both of whom we adopted as infants, “so why did you have to adopt him too?”
Read the entire story from AdoptiveDads.org . . .
Posted on May 12, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
Scott and Annie McClellan are critical part of the Tapestry leadership team, and God has been writing an amazing story with their lives (and that of their daughter’s, Elise) over the past several years. A couple of weeks ago, Scott and Annie had the opportunity to tell just a small piece of their story — which is, after all, also very much Elise’s story — during the Sunday services at Irving Bible Church.
Their story is one filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and joys and challenges. But it is also most certainly a story of faith, hope and love. Click here to listen to this brief (9 minute) glimpse at Scott, Annie and Elise’s story.
Posted on May 3, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
“Just wanted to say thanks again for letting our family participate in your event today. Such a blessing to our family. The kids wanted to send this picture to ya’ll to say thanks for the flip flops. Another answered prayer. Who knew? God knew!” — The Stotler Family
This past Saturday over two dozen volunteers came together at Irving Bible Church as part of the city-wide Go & Be effort to help Tapestry host another Foster Family Fun Fest for over 60 area foster children and their foster parents. The event was filled with games, crafts, clowns and lots of other fun activities — including a larger than life water balloon launcher. In addition, IBC’s children ministry had recently collected over 350 pairs of flip flops to give to foster children, so each child who attended the fun fest got to take home some new flip flops.
Based on the laughter and smiles, it was clear that everyone — the kids, the parents and the volunteers — had a great time.
Posted on April 16, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
“Dear God,
Please help Shawn find a family soon – one where he will have a brother and sister, and maybe even a pet or two. Help his new family to treat him well and to be patient with him as he heals from his past hurts. Help him to do well in school and to make lots of friends.
I love you Jesus, Amen.”
This is the prayer that my 8 year old, Grant, prayed last night. He, along with lots of other kids at IBC (our church), is praying for children in foster care. Not just children generally – he’s praying for specific kids. Last night was Shawn. Tonight he will pray for Ian and Cheyenne.
Read the entire story from AdoptiveDads.org.
You can join with us in praying for children in foster care by visiting our prayer guide, where you will also find pictures and profiles of the children awaiting adoption that we are praying for.
Posted on March 31, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
Michael Monroe recently wrote this story for AdoptiveDads.org.
“Hey kiddo, you sure are special.” I suspect many kids hear this often from their parents. I know my kids do.
In fact, since my kids were little I have told them three things almost every day of their lives: “I love you, you’re special and I love being your daddy.” As they’ve gotten older we even converted this into our very own sign – three fingers sticking up, each representing an element of my reminder to them. As they are getting out of the car for school in the morning I typically flash three fingers at them. In response, Grant, my seven year old, is always good for a “I know dad – you love me, I’m special and you love being my . . .” as the car door slams to.
So the other night we got to talking right before bed and Grant asked me, “Daddy, why am I special?”
“Good question,” I replied, as I bought myself some time to compose an answer. “Why do you think you are special?” I asked.
“Because I was adopted?” Grant replied, as if asking me to confirm that he got the answer right.
In Grant’s response I was reminded of something that we as adoptive parents must be sensitive about. Our adoption stories are indeed special, full of miracles, joy and blessing. Our children are special, themselves a miracle and a joy and a blessing. But our children are not special in the same way that our adoption stories are special. Even more importantly, our children are not special because of our adoption stories.
Our children are so much more than a story – more than a past, present and future. They are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of a loving and gracious God. They are passionately loved by this same God and they are objects of His pursuing and redeeming grace. They were made by Him and for Him. This is what makes them “special” and imbues them with unimaginable worth.
I know firsthand how our understanding of adoption changes over time. This is true for us as parents as well as for our children as adopted persons. Maybe “changes” is not the right word – maybe our understanding simply becomes more complete. As the years go by and the complexities of our story become more evident and understandable, we and our children gain new perspectives and discover varying emotions and realities associated with how “we” came together as a family. Some of these perspectives reveal a fresh sense of amazement and wonder; some of these emotions and realities can be difficult and even painful. As a result, it is important that our children are neither defined nor valued in relation to their adoption story.
Having collected my thoughts I replied to Grant, “No, silly. You’re not special because you were adopted – although I do think you have a pretty special story. Why are you special?”
“Because God made me?” he replied.
“That’s right,” I said. “And who loves you?”
“You do,” he said.
“But who loves you more?” I quickly replied.
“God does, I know.”
“Hey, Grant . . .” flashing three fingers as I walked toward the door.
“I know, you love me, I’m special and you love being my daddy,” he said.
How true that is.
Posted on February 17, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
Michael Monroe wrote an article in the February 2010 issue of Adoption Today entitled Becoming More Real to My Kids. The article focuses on how important it is for parents to fully embrace their children, including those difficult and painful aspects of their stories. By doing so, parents have the opportunity to forge a stronger and deeper connection with their kids, and help them better understand how God is at work in all of our lives.
As Michael writes in the article, “The difficult reality is that but for the difficult realities of my children’s past we would not be the family we are. I love who we are and who they are. I love all of each of them. So instead of running from these things, I want to choose to run toward them, hand in hand with my kids. By doing so I believe I have the opportunity to become even more “real” to them, and to make more real the redemptive story that God is writing with our lives.”
Read the entire article Becoming More Real to My Kids . . .
And by the way, if you aren’t familiar with Adoption Today, you can look through the latest issue of the online magazine at www.adoptiontoday.com, or you can subscribe for $12/year. They also publish Fostering Families Today magazine as well. Every month these publications are full of great articles, stories and information — and they are a fantastic value. Be sure to check them out!
Posted on February 8, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
As I read the article, A heartbreaking request: Take My Child, from the Miami Herald, I was struck once again by the extent of the devastation and hopelessness that pervades Haiti.
The realities revealed in this article are both shocking and unimaginable. Scores of Haitian parents are convinced that they and their children have no hope. Let that sink in for a moment — or even longer. These parents are willing to go to extreme measures to provide for their children, yet the only hope they see for their children is to say goodbye and send them to the U.S.
As followers of Christ we, who live here in the land of plenty, have the opportunity and the privilege to take help and hope to Haiti. While adoption has been and will be the answer for some Haitian children, what Haiti needs most is for God’s people to not be stingy with our hope, but instead take it to Haiti. In response to the mother’s plea “take my child,” we must be ready with hands extended and hearts committed to reply instead, “take hold of this hope” — a hope and a Good News that is both “good” here and now and for eternity.
Each and every church can play some part; each and every family has a role — whether in Haiti or elsewhere. We ask that you join with us as we prayerfully consider how God would have us, our families and our churches ”take hope to Haiti.” To that end, let me encourage you to learn more about the Haiti Orphan Relief Team efforts, and consider how your church will be a part.
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