Realistically Expecting
Posted on July 2, 2010 by The Tapestry Team
Missy Leventhal recently wrote a very honest and insightful post on the Hope for Orphans blog. She talked openly about the importance of realistic expectations in the adoption journey, and how she had to adjust the unrealistic expectations she had created while waiting for the adoption of their daughter Abigail from China.
“For me the depths of my expectations did not help me with our transition, and it took me months to figure out that the disconnection I was feeling with her was due, in a large part, to my unmet and unrealistic expectations. As I’ve come to understand my own heart more through much prayer, educated myself with some great books like The Connected Child, and surrounded myself with other godly adoptive families through our church’s adoption ministry (Watermark Tapestry), I’ve learned that I must evaluate and adjust my expectations so that they are more realistic. I must love my daughter for who she is and for how our God has created her, rather than try to make her into something she’s not. This is not a new concept to me, but it is one that took me being very intentional to really change my heart.”– Missy Leventhal
Missy focuses on an issue that all adoptive and foster parents must focus on — both before their child arrives and after — if we want to truly love our children in ways that build strong and lasting connections to help them become all that God intends for them to be.
Read Missy’s entire post here, and you can also read an article on the same subject by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe entitled Adoption from the Inside Out. It’s never too late for us as adoptive and foster parents (and parents-to-be) to start this all-important process of examining our motivations and expectations, and allowing God’s truth and grace to bring them more in line with what He has called us to.
